There are several times throughout someone's life when they must make decisions, and they may never know if they made the right one. But they hope to see some sort of light that shows them something that will comfort them. I, not too terribly long ago, made a decision that changed my life. I actually made 2 decisions. One was moving, the other was much more personal. I know for a fact that if I hadn't moved, the second decision wouldn't have been an issue. In short words, I feel as I have ruined someone's life, or their life as of right now. I did them wrong, and I want to apologize greatly, but am completely afraid that it's going to make everything worse for them. I knew from the start that I was an awful person, and that I didn't deserve them to be anywhere near my life. I tried to tell them but they closed their ears and didn't want to listen. Now I'm sitting here filled to the max with regret. If I could take everything back, I would in a heart beat. I would take all the sadness, pain, and any other feelings that I had caused and would throw them out the window, crying for them to never return. When I think of this person, I as if I have done the very thing that I have despised for the entirety of my life. He loved me deeply, and I loved him back just as deeply. I felt something that I never knew I could... I don't know if I can ever feel that again. I have always told myself that I would be better off alone. By myself with nothing but friends. Nothing. I'm not a fool to know that I have done horrid things, and I'm no fool to know that not having that special someone is a lonely life, if a life at all.
The only that I really want to say to this person is that I'm sorry. I'm sorry to the point that I feel terrible about being with someone now, I feel awful when I start to enjoy myself, I wish I could make everything go away for you. I'd be willing to take everything on myself. I'd be willing to be cursed for the rest of my life...as long as it is me...and nobody else. For there is no other person in this world that deserves what I deserve from you.
Pure Hatred.
