I don't understand

I've rewritten this so many times I'm not sure where to start. Everything seems so complicated to me and yet everything is simple. Confused?...so am I. Here, it all comes down to one question. How do you get friends? Now, I'm invisible and yet I am. It's like this. I am a painting. People are admirers who pass through the museum of life and stops by my painting. Each one sees it and begins admiring, gasping at the beauty, etc. But here's the thing, none of them goes close enough to see the brush strokes, and the many blended colors. It doesn't make sense to me. But, every guy who passes me wants to be either my father or lover. SO, when I finally let someone in, I intend for them to understand who I am and how I am extremely complicated. I thought that that was what a friend is...one who understands. I guess I'm wrong with that, so I don't really know. What do you think? I mean, I am not one that can say "you aren't being a good friend, this needs to end." I can't hurt anybody, even if they hurt me...I find hurting others like this is inhumane. Am I wrong? What the hell am I suppose to do? Be the mean bitch or let everything get more complicated.